Sign from a real hot tub in a real motel in a real city during my post-Christmas vacation.
I couldn’t help but think of the Joker:
…an ersatz scholar takes the front row. Thankfully, I hadn’t started class yet 🙂
A real sign (with my red line inserted for emphasis) in a real retail store in a real city I visited this past weekend.
I did some thinking–definitely more difficult on a Monday; maybe I need a “select energy drink”–and here are some questions I have:
- Do internal organs remain intact after said energy drinks are imbibed?
- Do select energy drinks have to be registered? If so, is there a waiting period?
- Is there a “Select Energy Drink” safety training course?
- Can “select energy drinks” also be used as effective hunting tools? If not, do they work well as decoys and bait?
- Given that “proper ID [is] required,” is there a learner’s permit for consuming “select energy drinks”?
- Are there special interest and/or lobby groups that argue for Second Amendment protection for “select energy drinks”?
- Will newly legal 18-year-old consumers of “select energy drinks” also exercise their new voting rights during the elections? Will they have enough energy to do so?
- If this sign appears on a standardized test and includes directions to “select the item that does not belong,” will the test-taker(s) be confused?
- What is the special, determining criterion that elevates an energy drink to “select energy drink” status?
- Was Mountain Dew so bad after all?
“We all come from our own little planets. That’s why we’re all different. That’s what makes life interesting.”
–Dudley the Angel (Cary Grant), The Bishop’s Wife
I keep seeing these things everywhere. Actually, I take that back. I keep not seeing these things everywhere–they’re sold out. So I got to thinking about my old ViewMaster, and somehow my thoughts led me to creating this process:
Findings soon to be published in whatever scientific journals would accept the wanderings of my mind…